Silencing the voice of self-doubt can be downright difficult. There are the doubters and then there are the fear mongers. What differentiates one from the other? Doubt is a deterrent. It means you are not sure the process will work, whereas, fear can totally paralyze you from moving forward.
If you want to build trust in yourself and replace the negative chatter with positive thoughts, then you have to “show up”. Showing up means taking a proactive approach towards your goals in spite of the fear, doubt and anxiety. It’s easy to believe those negative voices playing over and over again in your head preventing you from trusting yourself.
Don’t allow the chatter to get stuck on instant replay. Press stop, rewind and rewire the brain to connect with a motivating moto or positive mantra.
- I am good enough
- I am capable and equipped to handle any situation.
- am grateful for my health and I love my life.
Whatever label you attach to these positive statements, it will serve as a reminder to reaffirm your goals, how to feel in the moment and the courage to honor yourself at every level.
“Since 95 percent of the people are imitators and only 5 percent initiators, people are persuaded more by the actions of others than by any proof we can offer.” – Robert Cialdini
Making Sense of the Difficulties
Being able to get through the difficult times, make the right decisions and learn from your mistakes is key to having a fulfilling life. Is there is a decision you are struggling with? Is there something you want to do but perhaps you don’t feel confident in your abilities? If the answer is YES, how would it feel if I gave you permission to make the choice you really want!
My guess is you would feel relief. However, your immediate response may question the relief with: What If? What if I hurt someone? What if I fail? What if it isn’t the “right” decision? What if people don’t agree with me? All these “what if’s are actually keeping you a prisoner of your own fear.
They are reinforcing a limited belief that other people’s feelings or expectations are more important than your TRUTH. Let me give you an example of some questions you may ask someone else:
- Should I Change My Career?
- Should I take this College course?
- Should I leave this relationship?
What you’re doing is asking for permission. However, deep inside you already know the answer! Of course you do! You just have to believe you do. You don’t need permission to do something that your soul is already telling you. Why do we need someone else to give us approval to move forward? I want you to trust yourself and believe in you. I want you to STOP running to other people for permission.
If you are miserable at your job, you know what you need to do. If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, move on. If you have always wanted a college education, what are you waiting for? Calling someone else and asking them for the answer is not going to change your decision. Trust your own intuition and take responsibility for your own life. You have all the power. I can’t make the decision for you, only you can. TRUST yourself.
Here are a few strategies to encourage you to believe and trust in yourself:
1. Avoid People Who Undermine Your Self-Trust
The people who undermine your self-trust are the ones who are jealous of your enthusiasm and passion. They give themselves permission to control your pleasure, your success and are the “dream smashers and naysayers.” Keep these individuals at arms-length and do not share important information with them. They may see you as a genuine threat and could sabotage your efforts.
2. Keep Promises to Yourself
Developing self-trust also includes becoming your own best friend, which includes keeping promises to yourself. You might make a commitment to take a walk every day, go to bed earlier, or visit the gym on a weekly basis. When you commit to your intentions, you are agreeing to stay focused even though it may be difficult. Building habits and working towards your goals takes effort but it’s well worth the energy.
3. Speak Words of Wisdom and Be Kind to Yourself
When you speak words of wisdom, you are acknowledging you are in control, you have the power to overcome your circumstances and are determined to trust in yourself. These declarations will reinforce the power you have to face all challenges and solve every obstacle in your path. Also, be ready to suppress the inner critic. You do not have to perfect, instead aim to improve, do a course correction and try again.
“The purpose of a storyteller is not to tell you how to think, but to give you questions to think upon.” – Brandon Sanderson
4. Write A New Story
Trusting in yourself takes work and effort, however, with daily practice you will be able improve your confidence, self-esteem and have inner peace. Your job, if you choose to accept it, is to be happy in spite of your circumstances, rise above the inner critic and love yourself.
We all have a story to tell, however, today I want you to begin writing a new story about your life; one where you are grounded in confidence, self-love, commitment and courage. Start by taking action steps towards changing your story from self-defeating thoughts to thoughts that empower you to make sound decisions and trust yourself! You are more than capable to achieve your heart’s desire. BELIEVE in YOU!